Follow-up Letters
Letters I wish I knew where to send… if only they would work.
Dear Capital One (Chase Bank, insert name here),
Please stop inviting me to apply for your credit card. If I’d wanted one, I would have gotten it a long time ago. I haven’t. If for some unknown reason I want one in the future, I will let you know. In the mean time, you are wasting a lot of paper and postage, and I wish you would stop.
— — — -
Dear Sierra Club (Audubon Society, SPCA, other cause),
Please stop asking me for money. I am not going to give you any. Just because I donate to the Nature Conservancy, doesn’t mean that I want to donate to your mission. Yes, I know that it is a good one. You guys do good work. The truth is that I have a fixed number of dollars that I am going to donate to organizations like yours. I choose to give all that money to one cause rather than spreading it thinly among many. I hope you can understand that. In the mean time, you can take the money you waste on me with paper and postage and use it more effectively to plant a tree or something.
— — — -
Dear Nature Conservancy (and everyone else I currently donate to),
Two things. First, stop passing my name to other charitable causes. I have chosen to give my money to you, I am not going to give…
